Can I be real? This week I’ve been battling. Battling thoughts that I am not enough – I feel this constant need to achieve more professionally and personally. It gives me anxiety. I’m fearful that if I’m not spending every waking moment working (work, school, side projects), I’ll fall behind.
It gets tiring, striving to fill my day with as many gold stars as possible. It feels like I’m stuck on a treadmill with a speed higher than I can keep up with. I’m not saying I shouldn’t work hard, because I believe in a strong work ethic. But I believe it’s dangerous when I work myself to the bone primarily to impress others and prove myself, to feel worthy. That’s when the heart and life behind my work is sucked out of me. I want to work with a heart of compassion toward others, passion for what I do, and service. I want to work with the knowledge that I have a higher purpose than just my own recognition and self-validation.
Thanks to the infinite love of my heavenly father, I can be rest assured that I am enough. I am at the top of the ladder at all times. I am free to love and serve and know that no matter how limited or imperfect I am. My imperfections and weaknesses don’t define me, and for that I am thankful.
“O God, please set my heart at rest in Your presence when my heart wants to condemn me. For You, God, are greater than my heart, and you know everything” (based on 1 John 3:19-20)